Unexpected ApologyI've been staring at you all night. You're exhausted, clearly, and there's a vein pounding in your temple. This newest experiment seems to be very important, though I still haven't figured out what it is. You keep scribbling notes in between mixing and remixing vials of unidentifiable liquids. I should leave before the sun comes up- I left my hat back in my cave- but I can't stop watching you, wishing things were different. Wishing we had never fought. Damn. I don't want to think about this again. I turn to fly home through the remaining darkness when I hear you begin to hum, and I'm right back at the lab window to see you relax back into your chair. You close your eyes, slip off your glasses, and breathe out. Your left hand taps in rhythm on the desk, and you begin to sing softly."Marceline, this is my apology.All this time I had believed you had just grown sick of me.Marceline, I let my fear control my wordsSo reprimanding tirades were all you really ever heard.I believed you al
Return to NormalYou like to leave, and that’s okEverybody needs a changeFrom the status quoI understand you had to goI promise I will keep them safeBut I could never take your placeWe’ll learn to live around your holeUntil you finally come back homeAnd things willReturn to normal, they willReturn to normal, somehowReturn to normal, I knowReturn to normal, they willReturn to normal, one dayReturn to normal, we canReturn to normal,When you come homeShe talks about you everydayEvery time the statement change-s from yes to noShe’s angry but she loves you soShe needs to vent, I need to hearWe need to share the unsaid fearThat you aren’t coming backStill our faith will never slackThat you’ll come homeGrinning like the ass you areMaking us laugh so damn hardAnd holding her like you just can’t let goAnd things willReturn to normal, they willReturn to normal, somehowReturn to normal, I knowReturn to normal, they willReturn to normal, one day
MineShe is hurting frightened crossAnd I am hurting confused lostAnd it is my fault that she is worried that her child is in painAnd it is my fault that I am sobbing wearing salt and snot againHow could I panic like this? A trip to the ER is only a waste of money and timeHow could I panic again? We know what’s wrong and it’s going to hurt until they can get insideYou shouldn’t panic when you can’t feel your arms or taste your own mouth or see the hand in front of your faceI should feel bad for making her cry and worryand for calling while crying, scared and aloneWe know what’s wrongand it’s going to hurtAnd it is my fault the bills are pilingIt is my fault my fingers won’t moveAnd it is my fault that I made thisabout my broken bod
The Only Safety He Can GiveA cell-phone rings in a dark room. A door opens from the left, allowing in just enough light to shadow the room’s contents. A computer sits surrounded by cameras and camera parts on a desk at the back of the room. A picture of a little girl leans against the computer monitor. On the wall above the computer hang several picture frames, but there is not yet enough light to identify the pictures’ contents. ALLEN, a 38-year-old accountant with dark circles under his eyes, enters and heads straight to the desk. Shuffling camera parts, he finds the phone and flips it open.ALLEN: Hello? Jordan? Hey, sweetie! This is unexpected. (Pause.) Of course I’m happyto hear from you. I’m just surprised that Mommy let you call. (Pause.) Oh? Who’s watching you, then? (Pause.) Cody, the neighbors’ kid? That’s good. Cody’s a good boy. So, how’s Daddy’s little girl? (Pause.) I know, sweetie. Daddy misses you, too
Help Me OutHello, hello, I need some money now.Yes, no, I’m broke, I need some money now.Please, sir, don’t go! I need some money now.Could you help me out?I used to have money in a bank accountBut the bills got too heavy, and the money all ran out.The bills still keep coming, but it’s someone else’s houseAnd I’m out here on the street.This sweater may be worn but it keeps the chill air outAnd my kids got it for me, so I never go without.Plus the foster home they live in lets me visit then and nowSo it’s warm with memories.Hello, hello, I need some money now.Yes, no, I’m broke, I need some money now.Please, sir, don’t go! I need some money now.Can you help me out?My first born spent his childhood in a hospital bedWhen the cancer finally took him, my wife drank herself to death.I was too depressed to focus and too proud to ask for helpWell, starvation kills the pride.I’d rather work to earn my meal, but no one trusts a bum.
How You Saved My LifeI find that I am thinking about you.About how things ended,and the phone call that was laced with too much truth.I keep wishing I'd gone back to your place.Sat you down,and screamed my secret thoughts to your face.But I didn't want to be that friend.With useless platitudes,and earnest words to make you feel again.I know the things I should have said would hurt.But we'd fight through it,and you'd be here instead of in the dirt.I can't pass by your apartment without seeing all the bloodon the concrete where the pistol stopped your pain.Sometimes it seems so pointless that a dream could die so youngwhen both of us had so much left to gain.I only wish I could show you the difference that you've madein who I am and how I can survive.Thinking of you hurts my lungs but I keep on because you showed me the true pain in suicide.
SidelinesI’ve been on the sidelines all my lifeTil I met the girl I planned to call my wifeI was so involved, I couldn’t seeThat her life wasn’t ready yet for meSo I stepped back to the sidelinesDaydreaming to pass the timeStanding steady as a friendA helping hand ready to lendNow here on the sidelines I can seeJust the kind of man I want to beLovers come, and lovers they will goFriendship is the glue that keeps us whole.
Bad FeelingBad feelingIt's a bad feelingJust a bad feelingNo, I'm not fucking up againI can't screw this upI can't blow this chanceIf I'm gonna live these plans,I have to let this passOh this,Bad feelingIt's a bad feelingJust a bad feelingNo, I'm not fucking up againI'm wading knee deepThrough my source of creepIt's making a joke of meAnd taking libertiesWith this,Bad feelingIt's a bad feelingJust a bad feelingNo, I'm not fucking up againAll this self hate will passThis empty fear will fadeGut-wrenching tears asideI've really got it madeI've got these souls to loveI have a dream to chaseIf I can't let it die,I'll have to find a placeto put thisBad feelingIt's a bad feelingJust a bad feelingNo, I'm not fucking up againThis bad feelingHas me right reelingBut I, I'm dealingNo, I'm not fucking up again
Dream as DrugChina dreams of Indiatea dreams by candlelightI dream of music tonesI'd never heard before I smoked the white.She dreams of the babe they tookdreaming of a mindless motherHe dreams up a wordless bookas their dreams dry up beneath cloud cover.Claim your fears, and they will surely fade awayTo live your dreams, you'll find the demons in your wayDreaming lives that never can be, never have beenDon't let that demon claim to be your friend.'Cause once he's in, he'll never leave againMisty-eyed and ashen-facedstarving spirits of the worldChained to demons caked in reda mockery of innocence long-soldToo many lives not ever livedcowering behind fear's powerGrace to those newly forgivedmercy to the children all gone sourDreaming lives or living dreamsA burdened choice, neither what it seemsRunning scared to a painted nightmare where you don't existOr working hard to build a world more worthy of your gifts
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